I haven’t posted in so long that I actually had to log in to WordPress.
I normally find myself coming to this space when I’m also busy with other things. Habit. It’s the battlecry of my generation, or something, that WE CAN MULTITASK ALL THE THINGS. I now find that idea exhausting. Do we always have to be doing a THING? Is it okay to just be for a moment? Can I put my phone away?
When I am not busy, though, is when the world seems its bleakest. When my brain is not occupied with ALL THE THINGS, melancholy tends to settle in.
So. I tend to choose the THINGS, but will occasionally turn off anything that requires to be turned on.
Spring’s appearance has been interrupted a handful of times now by snowfall, but I think it might finally be here. Most of the recent snow melted yesterday. I’ve got that anxious feeling I get when the air starts to smell a certain way and the days lengthen. The ground is still frozen, and the wind still has a bit of bite to it, but everything is slowly coming out of slumber.
I don’t think I will ever tire of sitting on this river bank. I am thankful to be here in this time and place, with the option to occasionally unplug.
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It’s almost my birthday week! Hooray! I’ve been feeling like a bit of a sad sack about the whole thing, despite my best efforts. Talk about your highs and lows, I guess. Yesterday was a rather crushing low, but today I’m on the up-swing. On a scale of 1 to 10 (which is not actually a large enough scale for this kind of thing at all), I’m somewhere around a 5? A slight step above “okay,” which I would consider acceptable. I’m eating lunch and getting things done and enjoying my book. Yesterday was an hour-by-hour struggle for survival. That sounds really dramatic, but that’s honestly how it felt.
I do think it’s going to be a good year. In the end, that does depend entirely on me. It’s my attitude and my actions that are going to make it. I may need to be slightly more accepting of help from those who are not within my tiny circle.
Timothy and I were talking on the phone about reinventing of self. I don’t know how I feel about reinventing. I do, however, like the idea of revisiting and refreshing. I am currently musing over goals for my next year on this planet. Tomorrow I need to buckle down and compose some scholarly e-mails, but tonight I’m simply appreciating the fact that the future currently exists, and that there’s a place for me in it. Like, tomorrow I will be able to write e-mails I don’t want to write! That’s pretty incredible.
Thanks for stopping by. My name is Naomi, and this space is made of girldust. This blog is a picture of my comfortably scattered life on the coast of Maine. I'm trying to be a slightly better version of myself every day. I like old houses, reading, the ocean, ghost stories, and museums. You can learn a little bit more about me here. Follow along elsewhere, or get in touch: