It never hurts to take a little time to reflect and process.
June is going to be a big month, for me, one that will be (I hope) full of positive change. I recently left my job, which is as much of a relief as it is terrifying. While I feel like the word “toxic” is way overused (ugh), I 100% believe that retail, especially the weird secondhand corner of the retail world my former employer resides in, can be an extremely toxic environment. It certainly took its toll on me. After four and half years, it was time for a change. There were some great days, though, for sure. Treasured objects and people.
I worked hard on my college degree, learning about the things I loved, only to gently push it aside, waiting for “later.” Now that I’m fully dedicated to grad school, I realize that I’ve been missing out. A lot of that comes from insecurity and uncertainty, for sure, because I worry that maybe I waited too long, or that I didn’t look for the right opportunities. There are a lot of what ifs. I’ve never been a big risk-taker. I’m worried that younger, ballsier people will leave me in the dust. They probably will. I don’t know how to do my makeup, and I wear too much black, and I never know what to say, or what to do with my hands when people are talking to me. That being said, I guess I’d rather be trying and failing than just continuing to float semi-miserably along.
The difficult thing now is to transition. I’ve been working retail since undergrad, because it always paid the bills. That’s eight years under my belt in a world I really don’t want to be a part of any longer. So where to go from here?
That remains the question.
I’m cleaning out my desk drawer in preparation for moving. Things are slowly going into boxes. There’s a lot of clutter to get rid of, papers to sift through. I want to start fresh, but there are some things I will always take with me. I really don’t think you can ever just drop everything and go. Maybe some people can.
There is a dress in a box in my closet that I’ve had since I lived in Burlington. I bought it on clearance at Urban Outfitters, my second year at UVM. That knowledge is not special; I know where and when all my clothing has come from. There is nothing spectacular about this dress. Despite not currently being able to fit into it, or even wanting to be able to fit into it (it’s equivalent, I think, to a size 2, like no that is not happening), I haven’t been able to let it go. It doesn’t represent anything in particular, at least nothing I can put a finger on. At that point, I was still trying to figure things out. There is nothing about this dress that I even like. The colors aren’t me, the material makes me sweat, and the cut is not even remotely flattering. I finally managed to move it from a hanger to a donation box a few months ago. I haven’t looked at it since, I do not miss it, and yet for some reason I couldn’t be bothered to get that box of donations out the door.
That box is gone this week. The fact that it’s even occupying any part of my brain is seriously driving me batty.
This full moon means beautiful things are afoot. June is a month that has often left me feeling a little empty. There are memories here that will always be with me. If I can take even some of that sadness and turn it into something new and good, I will consider it a success.
The friends I used to drink cider and howl at the moon with are three hours and a mountain range or two away, but summer makes me think of them.
The first full moon of the new year occurred only a few days ago. I took advantage of that energy to set some intentions, and shed some negative thoughts. The full moon is a good time to do some physical goal-setting, or to simply focus internally on the things you’d like to change. It’s a time to let go of whatever it is that may be holding you back. Nature is a powerful companion. We experienced our first real shock of winter temperatures over the weekend, even as the sun grows stronger. The cold air has a way of clearing the mind.
I’m not saying that you should wait until a full moon to let go and move forward. If you are ready to make a change, then absolutely do it. But if you need a catalyst, let it be the moonshine. For 2015:
- January 4th, Wolf Moon
- February 3rd, Snow Moon
- March 5th, Worm Moon
- April 4th, Pink Moon
- May 3rd, Flower Moon
- June 2nd, Strawberry Moon
- July 1st, Buck Moon
- July 31st, Blue Moon
- August 29th, Sturgeon Moon
- September 27th, Harvest Moon
- October 27th, Hunter’s Moon
- November 25th, Beaver Moon
- December 25th, Cold Moon
Cleanse your space, cleanse your heart. It’s a new year. It’s a new day.
Nota Bene: The following post contains affiliate links. I will earn a small percentage from any sales made through shopping some of the links below. Thank you!
The days are short and the nights are cold.
I hope your holiday season has been a peaceful and happy one so far. I hope you are getting to spend time with the people you love. I hope that no matter how you celebrate (or not!), you’re wishing well to your fellow humans. We’ll be splitting our time between NYC and Vermont, this year.
I need a little magic. City lights and Northeast Kingdom snowfall.
The Cosmic Collective 2015 Moon Energy calendar is a limited edition piece available for both the Northern and Southern hemispheres. It features some beautiful work by two talented artists. Get it here.
Until December 30th, ModCloth is running an amazing 50% off markdown sale, with great deals on seasonal favorites. I am madly in love with that purple sweater dress.
Thanks for stopping by. My name is Naomi, and this space is made of girldust. This blog is a picture of my comfortably scattered life on the coast of Maine. I'm trying to be a slightly better version of myself every day. I like old houses, reading, the ocean, ghost stories, and museums. You can learn a little bit more about me here.